Wheatley, Play Despacito

Chell lying face down on the floor, saying 'I'm sad Wheatley play Despacito'. Wheatley is looking down at her from his rail.

Chell speaks for the first time, and what she says is ...unusual. This oneshot was inspired by the Steam 20th Anniversary Webpage.

After trying to escape Aperture Laboratories for what felt like days, Chell was tired. She wasn't normally the type of person to give up on something once she set her mind to it, but she was slowly starting to understand how other people felt when they did. Was this feeling "despair"?

Chell collapsed onto the test chamber's tiled floor. "I'm sad," she moaned, "Wheatley, play Despacito."

Wheatley was stunned. Chell had never said anything to him before, and he had always assumed that she was unable to speak. He looked around to make sure the sound hadn't come from somewhere else.

"Wow! Uhm, uh, I've never heard of, uh, despacito before, is it a game or something along those lines? Because I would be more than happy to play a game with you, I mean if that's what you want, of course. That is what you want, right?"

Chell buried her head in the floor and cringed. Did I actually say that out loud? How embarrassing. Maybe if I pretend nothing happened, he'll shut up.

"Wait, you did ask me to do that, right? It wasn't just me imagining things. You said, "Wheatley, play despacito"? Or maybe you meant to say something else and your brain damage just kind of got it mixed up. But you did just speak to me, right?"

Chell slowly pulled herself up to a sitting position and nodded.

"Wow! That's great! I had no idea you could say things, I mean I've never heard you say anything before, come to think of it you don't really acknowledge my existence that often. So, about this Despacito, what is it specifically that you'd like me to do?"

Chell sighed. It was always difficult for her to try to talk to people that she didn't know very well. Even when she tried to, it felt like there was something stuck her throat that was blocking the words. And none of the robots she'd met in Aperture seemed worthy of her effort.

Her first impression of Wheatley was that he was an annoying dumbass. When he tried to get her to say "apple", she had just pretended to not understand him. But over time Chell had gotten used to his goofy rambling. She'd started saying stupid little things back to him in her head. Wheatley on a stick, what will he do. Wheatley rolls "Worst Joint Ever", asked to leave Aperture Science. To Chell, it was like he was a funny little creature, and not an actual person. I shouldn't have let my guard down.

She opened her mouth.


"I'm sorry. It's okay, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to, we can just act like none of this ever happened. If you want to. No pressure or anything. I'm sorry, I'll shut up now."

But Chell wasn't the type of person to give up on something once she set her mind to it. "eaaaughh. Blek." She coughed. "ey."

"Oh, I know what this is! You've got a sore throat, from breathing in all the asbestos and stuff that's in the air! Sometimes I forget how lucky I am to not have any lungs, he heh." Chell nodded in agreement.

"So, that despacito thing. You can always tell me about it, if you feel better later. Or if we find some paper and a writing implement or something like that, you can write it down. You can write, right?"